For ten months, dates and benchmarks for returning things to normal were set, and when those criteria came and went without any glimpse of normalcy, new ones were established. The pattern continues like the cool-water mirage that disappears each time the thirsty man gets close.
With each new battle, the angry war of words raged, and each side of the political fight pinned their optimism on that Tuesday in November 2020. The following day, some awoke with renewed energy. Others awoke to a sense of dread. Then, optimism was pinned on attorneys and judges. One group rejoiced, and one group was angry. Optimism was again pinned to a date in January 2021. Spirits were high on both sides of the argument that their side would emerge victorious. And, yet again, one side reveled while the other stared in disbelief.
Admiral Jim Stockdale spent eight years, from 1965 to 1973, in the prisoner-of-war camp known as the Hanoi Hilton during the Vietnam War. He was routinely tortured during that time. He had no set release date and wasn’t afforded prisoner’s rights. He didn’t know if he would live to see his family again. He was eventually released and received the Congressional Medal Of Honor for his service to the United States. Throughout his time in the prisoner-of-war camp, he shouldered the burden of command and did all he could to create conditions to help other prisoners survive.
During a talk with Jim Collins, author of the book Good to Great, Collins asked Stockdale how he dealt with being a prisoner of war.
“I never lost faith in the end of the story,” Stockdale said. “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”
When Collins asked who didn’t make it out, Stockdale replied that it was the optimists. “They were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas,’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart. This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”
We now find ourselves at possibly the most crucial crossroads of our lives. One road appears to lead to the promise of the future, while the other to the devastation of the end. Which one do we choose? Is it possible each road will eventually converge to meet at another crossroads? Without more information about where each road leads, it is impossible to make an informed choice.
Perhaps neither of these roads leads to where it appears to go. What happens then? Many, whose optimism has been constantly attacked, will shake their heads and refuse to take either road. Some will happily choose one, while others angrily select the other. In deciding which road to take, brother may turn against brother, and son may turn against mother. Friendships will crumble; families will splinter. And still, the war of words rages.
In the Christmas classic, It’s a Wonderful Life, a senior angel speaks to an apprentice angel named Clarence about a man on earth who desperately needs angelic help.
“Splendid,” said Clarence. “Is he sick?”
“No, worse,” the senior angel replied. “He’s discouraged.”
Many people today find themselves in that position: discouraged, tired, and angry. Those feelings can easily wipe away faith and expel hope. And the ones most affected by a lack of faith and hope are the young.
After yesterday’s turmoil, January 6, 2021, the sun still rose, and it will rise again tomorrow, the next day, and the next. And with each sun rising, faith and hope in a new day are free for the taking. For society to survive and thrive, we “must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end . . . with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be” (Stockdale).
I don’t want to return to normal because normal is what got us to where we find ourselves today. I want to move forward to a new better. It will take courage, learning to get along regardless of differences, mending broken fences, and finding a way to agree to disagree without becoming disagreeable.
I have faith that things will all work out. Maybe not as quickly as I would like. Maybe not as fully as I desire. But they will work out. I am not an optimist. I am not a Pollyanna. I am simply a woman who strives to live each day in faith and with hope.
If you find yourself in a kind of prisoner-of-war camp today, cling to faith, rely on hope, and don’t give up. The night will end, the sun will rise, and a new day will dawn.
#storieswithcharlene #leaveyourlegacy #writeyourstories #hope