I met Isaac during a family history conference where I spoke about writing personal stories. When Isaac shared a small piece of his story, I asked if he had written it. He said he wasn’t a writer. I told him it didn’t matter. He repeated, “I’m not a writer.”
We played verbal cat and mouse for a few minutes before I said, “I would love to help you write it.” After all, how hard could it be to write a book?
I enjoyed the interview process and the research. But when it came time to organize the interviews, research, and countless notes, I was stuck. I should get started, but the more I told myself what I should do, the more complex the task became.
I sat at my computer day after day, staring at the monitor, tapping out a few words, and then feeling paralyzed. I knew I should change something, but I didn’t know what or how. Should had me sinking fast.
And then, one morning, an instructor for a course I was taking asked this question: “What might happen if I . . . ?” We spent the next hour discussing the power of might. When I was shoulding all over myself, I believed I had to be brilliant every time I sat at my desk to write. No wonder I couldn’t get out of the starting gate. The instructor challenged us to flip our thinking each time we told ourselves we should do something. “Instead, ask yourself, ‘What might happen if I . . . ?’”
It was too easy. But the truth was that I had a deadline fast approaching. What did I have to lose? Or rather, what did I stand to gain?
The next day, as I sat at my computer, I caught should before it paralyzed me and asked instead, “What might happen if I . . . start typing?”
The next day, I asked myself another, “What might happen if I . . . ?” question. After a few weeks, I had something to show for my efforts. After a few months, I had a manuscript ready for the editor. And then my stomach tied in knots with the impish offspring of should: what if?
“What might happen when she returns it?” I asked myself. “What might happen if I . . . stop worrying?” It wasn’t magic, but it was a miracle.
If you’re shoulding all over yourself, flip the script and ask, “What might happen if I . . . ?” Should is the parent of perfection paralysis. Might is the encourager of ideas and problem-solving. So kick should to the curb and invite the power of might to your party.
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